Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cool Car Man

While driving today I saw possibly the coolest car, driven by the coolest guy, in all of Norfolk, possibly all of VA.

I'm just guessing on the year, but I'd say it was a 1998 or so, Honda Accord. That's not so cool you say? But here is the list of 'extras our dude had included:

'Sport' muffler that makes the car sound like a riding lawnmower in need of major work.
Spinner rims, over sized to use very low profile tires.
Lowered suspension, so low that the tires touch the fender well when he hits a seam on the highway. The extreme camber on the rear wheels from having the ride height so low is a free extra.
Rear Wing fit for an F1 car, because we all know how Front wheel drive cars need extra down force.
Sound system ready for the next Rolling Stones concert.
Seat back set in 'ultra recline' so even a relatively tall guy can't see over the steering wheel.

But the best, and most important part:
Aftermarket Turbo with Boost Overflow Valve vented to the atmosphere.
Giant NOS sticker on the back window.
Oversize sunglasses, at night.

Now here is how we know he's the coolest guy on the road: He passed me, on the right, weaving through heavy traffic, yelling insults out the open window at the people in his way.

Then something gave out under the hood of his car, loud enough to be heard over the sound of his exhaust line, and the entire car filled with rich, white smoke. When I passed him, he had escaped the car, which seemed to be very close to 'on fire'.

I think the fire and smoke damage will be a nice touch to that rig, don't you?

Stay safe, and remember: Boost pressure is set by the factory for a very good reason.

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